7 Ways to Cope With Grief From the Loss of a Pet

Our Culture’s Ideas About Pet Loss–Disenfranchised Grief

When a person dies, we usually know what to do.  We plan/attend some kind of service.  Perhaps we bring food to the grieving family.  Often, we send a sympathy card or donation to the requested charity.  However, there are types of losses when there aren’t clear-cut norms on how to behave.  Pet loss fits into this type of loss.    We are grieving, but others don’t understand why we are feeling so bad.  This is disenfranchised grief.

After telling a friend or co-worker that your pet is no longer in your life, you may receive the following remarks:

• “Why are you still upset?  It’s only a dog/cat/bird/snake, ferret….”
• “Why don’t you go and get another one?”
• “He/she was really old/sick, so you had no choice but to ‘put him down.'”

The problem with these types of comments is that they don’t recognize the essential loss of our loved one, and the grief that you are feeling.  While people don’t often know what to say after a human dies (often due to lack of knowledge and discomfort); I can’t imagine telling someone to get a new partner right after the death of the love of your life!

To read more, please visit Laurie Blaikie's post.